Why Most Men Fail Their Resolutions by February

And how you won't.

The Resolution Dilemma

New Year’s resolutions are great. I love this time of the year because, more than any other time, you get to see people’s drive and desire to improve manifest into productive action. January goes to show that most people actually do want to change, do want to strive towards something better, and are willing to put in the work to get there. I don’t know about you, but for me, that’s inspiring. It’s a shame that the motivation most people enter into the new year with fades a couple of weeks into it, and that they end up quitting their resolutions as early as February.¹

Most self-improvement gurus will ascribe people’s failures to laziness, but I believe there’s a more complex variety of reasons why most men end up giving up on the goals they set, not only as new year’s resolutions, but in general. People simply do not know how to properly set goals. Their resolutions usually lack a deeper purpose or a guiding framework to improve the odds of success.

Without a Deeper Purpose, Resolutions Are Pointless

It’s cool to set goals, but doing so without aligning them with a clear, deep, meaningful purpose is as useful as setting no goals at all.

Discipline will only take you so far. In the scale of “things that get you to take action consistently and persevere” there’s a level above discipline, and it’s purpose. With purpose, discipline comes easier, because you will have an answer to the pestering question that bothers everyone who tries to sacrifice to accomplish something difficult: “What even is the point?”. If your goals serve a deeper purpose, you have an answer.

This is a timeless principle, and we can even find in the Bible some good examples of purposeful goal-setting and execution.

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The Story of Nehemiah: A Lesson in Purposeful Goals

The words of Nehemiah son of Hakaliah:

In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that had survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem.

They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.”

When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.
— Nehemiah 1:1-4

I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on.

By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King’s Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall. Finally, I turned back and reentered through the Valley Gate. The officials did not know where I had gone or what I was doing, because as yet I had said nothing to the Jews or the priests or nobles or officials or any others who would be doing the work.

Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me.

They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.
— Nehemiah 2: 11-18

The book of Nehemiah is a great example of purposeful goal-setting and execution. In it, we are told the story of Nehemiah, and how he committed to rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem after they had been torn down and burnt.

When Nehemiah first heard about the state of Jerusalem, he wept. Finding a deeper purpose very often requires your heart to be broken, for it’s only when feeling pain for a specific cause that the fire that drives us forward with commitment and decisiveness is lit in us. A worthy cause to pursue stems from a deep pain, and a sincere desire to save others from it, or help them navigate it.

In chapter 2, Nehemiah teaches us another lesson: he takes immediate action. He heard God’s calling, and he answers it right then and there. He doesn’t wait for the perfect time, but starts moving straight away. If God puts a purpose in your heart, it’s cowardly and irresponsible not to pursue it.

The story of Nehemiah is deep and extremely meaningful, and it offers us a list of practical strategies and mindset shifts we can use to all but guarantee we will accomplish our goals and be successful in sticking to our New Year’s resolutions.

Here’s the best framework for goal setting and execution to ensure you actually stick to your resolutions this year, and furthermore, that any goal you set from here on you accomplish successfully.

How To Ensure You Succeed With Your Resolutions