The Sigma Male Phenomenon

And what it tells us about the state of men today.

“He’s literally me.”

Nothing captures the state of men’s spirit quite like the “sigma male” archetype that has exploded in popularity as a meme online over the last couple of years. On the surface, one might think this is merely another internet trend, just the latest running joke, liable to fading with time like all the other once-viral memes that have come and gone over the last few decades.

After all, online trends are usually fleeting and short-lived: they come quickly, capture the attention of the entire world, and then fade just as suddenly. But the thing is that online trends are usually completely contemporary, relating to current sociopolitical events —the latest debate, the assassination attempt on Trump, lockdowns, etc.—, or simply irrelevant and borderline painful in their stupidity —the whole hawk tuah retardation, the “catch me outside how about that” woman back in 2016, and so on. The former die off with time, as new sociopolitical events come about and the press switches their focus to them, allowing the once trending topic to fade into oblivion and become just a blurry memory. The latter die off just as quickly, because human stupidity is limitless, and when the next viral, degenerate, dumb phrase comes along, people will forget all about the “talk tuah” podcast and jump on the newest bandwagon.

The point is that most trends are fleeting, transitory, meaningless. Which means that those that stay strong for a long time warrant a deeper look. Such is the case of the whole “sigma male” trend and the “literally me” meme. Young men from all cultures and backgrounds flood the comments sections of millions of social media posts: “he’s literally me”, “real”, “he’s just like me.”

I’ve never seen anything quite like the Blade Runner 2049/Ryan Gosling meme phenomenon. I don’t remember there ever being a character/film that warranted so much self-identification, even if done —apparently— as a joke. The fact that millions of men identify with a specific character tells us something important: men are finding in that character a vicarious expression of something deep within them. It’s not a coincidence that the character our men are identifying with is not the heroic warrior archetype our fathers used to relate to. You don’t see men writing “literally me” under posts of Rambo. You don’t see them writing “literally me” under caricatures of heroes like the ones in mainstream superhero movies. No, they are now identifying with the lonely, the misunderstood, the melancholic. Sometimes even with the psychotic and unhinged.

Do you think it’s a coincidence that as we’ve built a world that is hostile to masculinity, men are seeing their experience reflected not in the action heroes of decades ago, but in the outcasts, the loners, the deranged?

We do indeed identify with the “Sigma” characters, and we do so because we feel, deep in our bones, that they unmask the truths of life as a man in the modern world. We feel what they feel, we think how they think, and we understand why they are how they are.

Or can you not relate to Tyler Durden’s drive for chaos, as a rebellion against the emasculation of modernity? Can you not understand the lonely melancholy of Joe in Blade Runner 2049, as he lives in a world in which everything is a phony substitute for real human longings?

Solitary Melancholy

These sigma characters can be roughly divided into two overlapping categories, each one presenting a deep truth about the state of men today.

The first category is composed by those characters that showcase a deep solitary melancholy. These are the complete loners, the misunderstood, who even feel betrayed by the modern world.

It’s concerning that men are collectively feeling so deeply represented by these characters. But I can’t say I don’t understand why this is the case. After all, this is exactly the kind of life that millions of men live, minus the actual excitement and romanticized depth of these characters.

The life of the average modern man is just as lonely as the life of Joe in Blade Runner 2049. So much so that it’s almost robotic. The real-life-Joe drives through gray streets to a job he hates —with good reason—, only to sit down and push buttons all day, under artificial light. He eats artificial food for lunch, gets told what to do all day, and has zero agency over his actions. He gets brainwashed constantly by social media and manipulative news with an agenda. He goes home and jacks off to p0rn while he dreams of a good woman to accompany him and see him for who he truly is.

You look lonely. I can fix that.

And men accept this proposition, finding in p0rn and casual sex at least a momentary distraction from the longings of their heart. The women on his screen promise him the death of loneliness, and he accepts their proposition while fully aware of the falsity of it. He knows it won’t cure his loneliness, but he’s so desperate for a little affection that he’ll accept even the most humiliating crumb of false love.

It’s always the same story. A man lost in his meaningless void of a life, clinging on to the last bit of hope he has to build something better. There’s always a good woman that he dreams of, always the hope of a meaningful mission to pursue. And in these films, he usually ends up finding one of them, or if he’s lucky, both. In real life this is sadly not how it usually goes, and many men never find what they are looking for. In real life the only way out of the void is through great effort, suffering, and cleansing of your heart by the grace of God.

So, men see these characters, and they feel seen and understood. These characters speak to their troubled heart, and because these characters either find a happy ending or end up rebelling against the emasculation of modern life, young men see in them role models to follow, finding hope in their stories.

Joe never finds the idyllic woman, but he does find a mission, one that is worthy enough to die for. This is more than enough for young men to feel inspired by. If they can’t find the woman they dream of, at least let them find something worth dying for.

Most —if not all— of these characters also end up rebelling against a system that oppresses them at every turn, which leads us to the next category.

Rebellion

As you can see, there's overlap

The solitary melancholy of the aforementioned characters speaks to a reality of men today, while the rebellious spirit of these ones speaks not to a reality but to a pent-up desire of the current man’s heart.

These are the outlaws. The rebels. Those that got sick and tired of the betrayal and false promises of modernity. Even the outright psychopaths can be relatable: Patrick Bateman lives two lives, wearing a mask to hide who he really is. Is that not a reality for many of us too?

The modern man sees these characters and derives great satisfaction in seeing them rebel against the system. He lives vicariously through them, as he himself is too scared, too weak, or simply too rational to rebel.

Again, it’s worrying that our men are finding themselves reflected in these characters. Does this not speak to how enslaved we are, that we daydream about the ultimate freedom that rebellion provides? Is Tyler Durden’s chaotic freedom not precisely what has made him a role model to millions of young men over the years, who want, above all, to feel like men? So much so that his psychopathic tendencies get ignored and brushed under the carpet: all that matters is that he is free, and we are not.

All of these characters have one thing in common: they are a representation of freedom, a finger in the face of emasculation. How could a man who’s been put down, ignored, and humiliated all his life not identify with them?

The Way Out of The Void

I love the “literally me” meme. I find it hilarious, in a good way. My intention with this article is not to criticize or bash men for identifying with these characters, but simply take a deeper look at what this trend really means and what it says about the spirit of our time.

And behind the apparent innocence of such a trend hides a grim reality: our men are struggling. They are struggling for many reasons, but one of the main ones is that they don’t have proper role models to follow. Fathers are absent, politicians are crooked, movie characters are gay, and real godly masculinity is hard to find. These characters give them something to hold on to, a far-from ideal model to emulate, but at least it’s something to try and imitate.

All these characters are deeply flawed, and it’s dangerous to model oneself after them. In fact, this is true of all characters and of all men. No man is a good enough role model to pull another out of the void of meaningless. With one exception.

There is only one man who can truly see you, one man who can guide you, one man who is perfect and one man that we should try to imitate, and that man is Jesus Christ.

The longings of your heart will only be fulfilled by surrendering your heart to Him, and finding in His person someone you can aspire to imitate. And while we will always fall short of the perfect standard, having Him as our role model will save us from the danger of following false idols and flawed role models, no matter how relatable.

Only His presence in your heart will cure you from loneliness, only His strength in you will suffice to take a stand against the evil of our times, and only through Him will you stop living vicariously through others, daydreaming about a better life, and have the wisdom, patience, and courage necessary to build that life for you in reality.

Onwards and upwards,

Simple Man

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