Thanks for making me aware of this article. While I enjoy and resonate with some aspects, if we're encouraging men towards biblical manhood, shouldn't we be encouraging them to pursue God and not just "work on themselves"? The pursuit of God is not to the exclusion of any other things you mentioned for bettering one's self but it's more biblical to be surrendered to God allowing Him to mold our character by the means of prayer, worship and adoration of God, Bible study, community and living out what the Bible says. Exercising and taking care of self is good and should be done as a supplement to the pursuit of God. If we're just trying to better ourselves to make it easier for God to send the right person, we very easily run into self idolatry. But if God is our pursuit, all the things that better one's self will come (provided one is seeking in truth).
Anyway. Just my thoughts since they were asked for. Thanks!
Does God make a promise that a man or woman will be given a spouse? I feel this article, whilst valuable, doesn't leave room for the possibility that God may not have marriage in His plan for one's life. Do you believe we should be discerning "if" God would want us all to marry, given Paul also says that to be single like him would be better? (or is at least equally with the potential to be lived out in a Godly manner?)
You wrote: “Stop hiding behind lies and realize that if you want a woman worth something, you need to become a man worth something too.”
As if the sole reason men (or anyone) struggle to find a spouse is because they aren’t worth having one. That view only helps you cope with the reality you don’t actually know how to find a wife and blinds you to the realities much happens outside the neat little categories you’ve assigned to the world around you. You assume it happens naturally if one is as perfect as you, and therefore men must be without them because they aren’t good enough. Self righteous and foolish.
Come on mate you're the one playing dumb. It says it right in the quote, the key words are "worth something". He's not saying anyone isn't worth a spouse, he's saying people are only worth a spouse equivalent to what they themselves are.
Want a spouse who is in good shape? Then you should also be in good shape!
Want a spouse who is calm and good-natured? Then you should also be in control of your negative emotions! (I say this because the sexes tend towards different negative emotional expression, e.g. anxiety vs. anger or avoidance. So you can't say, oh she gets worried all the time, I don't therefore I am 'better', when you have anger issues or avoid uncomfortable emotional discussions or what have you, it's two sides of the same coin. If I continued this list a lot of the examples would not be exactly the same on either side like the physical fitness example, but more a mirror image reflecting sex differences and roles, like this one.)
...
I could go on ad nauseam but you get the gist.
I do think Christian/traditional spaces (with which I have never really been involved until recently, so I come with an outside perspective) are uncomfortable with the realities of what makes a man attractive to a woman, and so you end up with men who have done everything right by the received wisdom of their church or whatever, but struggle to find someone. I haven't read his other articles but I get the vibe this Simple Man writes about what you should actually become?
Okay Annie. Thanks for your take on the article. It’s wrong, aggressive, and in many ways nonsensical, but I still appreciate you taking the time to comment.
My comment is certainly aggressive, but it isn’t nonsensical. Your cope won’t work on objective observers who see you running from a sensible challenge to your article.
You started off well by addressing that women also have their issues, but I lost the joy to read this article when I read that there are only two types of men in church. There are plenty of men who are not sleeping around or fat. There are plenty of men who are working on themselves. They just constantly get let down from all the trash “encouragement” women receive on a daily basis, while the good men are constantly getting yelled at for whatever crap you wrote above. I encourage you to write a little article on how women can improve themselves too. To not constructively criticize women in the church and only take aim at men is a disgrace. There’s a laundry list of things wrong with women in the church.
I found it quite an inspiring article, written in a way that would naturally appeal to men, ie. here are the steps you need to take, given a set of circumstances, go forth and multiply (quite proud of that pun!)
Sure, relations between the sexes aren't in a great place, both men and women have many valid complaints of the other, but:
(a) Are any significant changes likely to happen within the timeframe of an individual's marriage-seeking? Doubtful to me!
(b) Does one individually have any ability to change this? Ludicrous to suggest.
(c) Would dredging through this all again instil virtue into the reader? On the contrary it would lead to resentment, bitterness etc. which would make the reader not only less happy, not only less attractive, but also less virtuous. Much better to go around with your head held high, confidence in what you want in a woman, and a determination to live the life you've been given in a positive manner. Count your blessings not your troubles :)
Appreciate you reading and your input, but this is a blog specifically for men, so I will talk to men. Women can find other writers who can better explain their issues and give advice. Nowhere do I absolve women of responsibility, and talking about how men can improve is what I can offer, because that’s what I am too.
Thanks for making me aware of this article. While I enjoy and resonate with some aspects, if we're encouraging men towards biblical manhood, shouldn't we be encouraging them to pursue God and not just "work on themselves"? The pursuit of God is not to the exclusion of any other things you mentioned for bettering one's self but it's more biblical to be surrendered to God allowing Him to mold our character by the means of prayer, worship and adoration of God, Bible study, community and living out what the Bible says. Exercising and taking care of self is good and should be done as a supplement to the pursuit of God. If we're just trying to better ourselves to make it easier for God to send the right person, we very easily run into self idolatry. But if God is our pursuit, all the things that better one's self will come (provided one is seeking in truth).
Anyway. Just my thoughts since they were asked for. Thanks!
Completely agree, and I encourage them to do so in nearly every article that I write!
I thought about applying to The Unplugged Network but I have some questions; which I hope will be revealed to me in proper time.
Send me a DM, I’ll be happy to answer your questions!
Does God make a promise that a man or woman will be given a spouse? I feel this article, whilst valuable, doesn't leave room for the possibility that God may not have marriage in His plan for one's life. Do you believe we should be discerning "if" God would want us all to marry, given Paul also says that to be single like him would be better? (or is at least equally with the potential to be lived out in a Godly manner?)
Yeah, maybe I could've clarified that there's absolutely room for vocations other than marriage.
wow. 🔥🔥🔥
Glad you liked the article brother! God bless
Reducing men to two categories, as if average Christian men aren’t also struggling… this post is so self righteous and foolish.
What are you talking about?
Your article. Why play dumb?
You wrote: “Stop hiding behind lies and realize that if you want a woman worth something, you need to become a man worth something too.”
As if the sole reason men (or anyone) struggle to find a spouse is because they aren’t worth having one. That view only helps you cope with the reality you don’t actually know how to find a wife and blinds you to the realities much happens outside the neat little categories you’ve assigned to the world around you. You assume it happens naturally if one is as perfect as you, and therefore men must be without them because they aren’t good enough. Self righteous and foolish.
Come on mate you're the one playing dumb. It says it right in the quote, the key words are "worth something". He's not saying anyone isn't worth a spouse, he's saying people are only worth a spouse equivalent to what they themselves are.
Want a spouse who is in good shape? Then you should also be in good shape!
Want a spouse who is calm and good-natured? Then you should also be in control of your negative emotions! (I say this because the sexes tend towards different negative emotional expression, e.g. anxiety vs. anger or avoidance. So you can't say, oh she gets worried all the time, I don't therefore I am 'better', when you have anger issues or avoid uncomfortable emotional discussions or what have you, it's two sides of the same coin. If I continued this list a lot of the examples would not be exactly the same on either side like the physical fitness example, but more a mirror image reflecting sex differences and roles, like this one.)
...
I could go on ad nauseam but you get the gist.
I do think Christian/traditional spaces (with which I have never really been involved until recently, so I come with an outside perspective) are uncomfortable with the realities of what makes a man attractive to a woman, and so you end up with men who have done everything right by the received wisdom of their church or whatever, but struggle to find someone. I haven't read his other articles but I get the vibe this Simple Man writes about what you should actually become?
Thanks for reading brother, glad you liked the article and understood the point I was trying to make! God bless you.
Okay Annie. Thanks for your take on the article. It’s wrong, aggressive, and in many ways nonsensical, but I still appreciate you taking the time to comment.
My comment is certainly aggressive, but it isn’t nonsensical. Your cope won’t work on objective observers who see you running from a sensible challenge to your article.
Whatever you say!
Thank you <3
Thank you
You started off well by addressing that women also have their issues, but I lost the joy to read this article when I read that there are only two types of men in church. There are plenty of men who are not sleeping around or fat. There are plenty of men who are working on themselves. They just constantly get let down from all the trash “encouragement” women receive on a daily basis, while the good men are constantly getting yelled at for whatever crap you wrote above. I encourage you to write a little article on how women can improve themselves too. To not constructively criticize women in the church and only take aim at men is a disgrace. There’s a laundry list of things wrong with women in the church.
I found it quite an inspiring article, written in a way that would naturally appeal to men, ie. here are the steps you need to take, given a set of circumstances, go forth and multiply (quite proud of that pun!)
Sure, relations between the sexes aren't in a great place, both men and women have many valid complaints of the other, but:
(a) Are any significant changes likely to happen within the timeframe of an individual's marriage-seeking? Doubtful to me!
(b) Does one individually have any ability to change this? Ludicrous to suggest.
(c) Would dredging through this all again instil virtue into the reader? On the contrary it would lead to resentment, bitterness etc. which would make the reader not only less happy, not only less attractive, but also less virtuous. Much better to go around with your head held high, confidence in what you want in a woman, and a determination to live the life you've been given in a positive manner. Count your blessings not your troubles :)
Appreciate you reading and your input, but this is a blog specifically for men, so I will talk to men. Women can find other writers who can better explain their issues and give advice. Nowhere do I absolve women of responsibility, and talking about how men can improve is what I can offer, because that’s what I am too.
With a sword and a rosary