You Have To Be A Little Bit Insane

To be truly alive.

I look into the eyes of men around me and even those that are not empty are not fully alive.

Look at the way most men get by: their entire existence is controlled by a clock. Their sluggish movements follow the inertia of those around them, and their minds, made numb by decades of empty pleasures and soul-crushing professions, have no real highs and lows, no excitement and no spark. They simply… get by. I look around me and am sad when I see the grip of extreme sanity, brought about by a deep fear of losing the few comforts they think bring meaning to their lives.

No risk is worth taking for them. Justifying their lack of life with a smug and arrogant look, they are slaves to “analysis”, slaves to “science” and “rationality”. They use these words and follow them with more devotion than most Christians follow Christ.

These are men who should have all the potential in the world, and who, in another age, could perhaps have been conquerors, heroes, great leaders and politicians. I believe a man has an innate fire. All men do. In varying degrees, but it’s there since birth. The drive to conquest, the desire for recognition and remembrance.

I also believe that this is the fire that they try to extinguish. That’s the fire that can overturn tyranny, and build new worlds from the carcasses of failed ones.

It’s the only thing powerful enough to usher in change, real change, and actual progress. But the cost is always the destruction of the current ways. And that is not something people in power will ever want. So they seek to put out that fire. And they’ve succeeded, for the most part.

They have given you and me, and all men, the freedom to surrender to sin and vice, and they have laid temptations at every step. They’ve fed you empty pleasures through your eyes and ears, they’ve pumped you full of sugar and addictions.

They have given you no option but to take a dead-end job, one that contributes nothing to society and emasculates you through fixed, unnatural schedules, blue lights and grey carpets, and HR memos about tolerance in the workplace. They have created shit careers that make you more miserable than a slave. They build grey and square apartment buildings that are a direct insult to God and to all creation, cram them up with 200 10 square meter studio apartments and charge your whole livelihood for them.

But my goal is not to blackpill you. No. You need to see things for what they are though, before you can change them for the better. I need to paint a dystopian picture to show you why too much rationality is, right now, in this world, a greater danger than too much risk. Because the picture I paint above is what your life will be, nothing less and nothing more, if you don’t find within you the fire of intentionality and choose a life that is not lived through inertia.

That is the fate of the overly rational man. The one so addicted to his material possessions that he refuses to risk them, even under the promise of finding salvation for his soul. For him, nothing is worth risking the comforts and pleasures he has grown to be addicted to. No reward is high enough to leave behind the safety net of modernity and venture out into the unknown. This man is willing to die spiritually and emotionally, as long as you don’t take from him his flatscreen TV, his Starbucks frappuccinos, his televised sports, his endless stream of pornography, and his comfy couch. This man will see himself degenerate daily, and yet never find in risk a reward big enough to change. He runs his analysis, he thinks he’s being wise, and always takes the safe route. And as a result, he lives a safe life.

Would you rather have safety or would you rather live?

You must be crazy enough to reject the standards that have served you for years. To voluntarily avoid the comfort that so tempts you and walk into the unknown, to seek something more, again, and again. When everything pulls you to remain as you are, to forget self-actualization and devote your energy to building a stronger cocoon and accumulating more and more things you can’t surrender, that’s precisely when you need to venture out into the unknown and choose to live dangerously. That’s when you ought to take risks not only for the promise of a reward but for the risks themselves, understanding that it’s this daring that adds oxygen to the dying fire within you.

But for this to occur you can no longer let rationality be your guiding light. Sometimes, sure. But others, and probably more often than you think, what you should follow is intuition, curiosity, and frequently too, danger. You won’t win big unless you’re willing to risk what you’ve gained so far. To disregard rationality is to voluntarily choose to introduce chaos and a little bit of insanity into your life. This is not an easy choice. But I know your soul lights up in expectation when I tell you this.

You probably are tired of living numbly, and so far you’ve found some excitement living vicariously through videogames and films. You watch Fight Club, you play Skyrim, and some part of you longs for that A free life. But that just tells me the fire is within you, yet you choose to experience a watered down version of life instead of choosing to incur in the risk that makes that very life sweet and worth living.

I know you read this and feel your spirit pulling you towards real experience and towards the uncertainty of the wide world. I know you feel within you that ancient spirit, but it will be up to you to manifest it. Only by rejecting boundless rationality will it happen.

You must have a touch of madness, if you are to choose the path less travelled and choose life when the whole world seems cold and dead. Because nobody will understand. Or they’ll pretend they don’t. Because they will look at you and see themselves as the slaves they are. Your freedom will shine light on the shackles they revere, and they will try to hold you again by telling you you’re crazy and voicing their disapproval in bursts of “rational” arguments.

The creative genius exists at the edge of insanity. He walks the thin line between rationality and total madness.

Too much sanity will blind you and kill your dreams. Too much madness will lead you astray and consume you.

You must live on the edge.