Use Your Aggression
A man is in fact supposed to be aggressive. But aggression is different from violence, and it's an asset that you should learn how to use.
New age toxic masculinity “experts” will have you believe that any sign of aggression shown by a male is categorically and undeniably a toxic trait. Aggression is always said to be dangerous, unnecessary and plain immoral.
But aggression is a neutral trait, and what determines its usefulness and morality is the way that it is used. We are men, and men are naturally more aggressive than women. Because our world has been taught to hate men, institutions and social norms have made it their top priority to all-out banish male aggression. The problem with doing that is that men as a group won't stop being aggressive. We can't just choose to become as passive as women. That's not how it works.
Thus, when society tries to chain male aggression and prevent men from ever expressing it, it ends up with a lot of deeply resentful, bitter, and actually dangerous men. And when all that aggression that they've been told they had to keep hidden fills up every empty space within their soul, chaos ensues.
Aggressiveness will never be fully eliminated. They can try to tame it as much as they want, but human nature is human nature, regardless of the softness and political correctness of the times in which we find ourselves. Because of that, it's important to reframe the narrative surrounding male aggression. If you are a man, you shouldn't try to eliminate your aggression and hide it from the world. Instead, you should find healthy avenues to express your aggression, and make it a productive asset of your personality, not something to be hidden from the eyes of the world. I recommend a couple of ways in which you can productively use that masculine aggression and make it a force of good.
Channel your aggression physically
This is probably the most obvious and intuitive way for a man to channel his aggression. Aggression in males is usually manifested physically. This is why men were warriors and fighters, and the reason why it has always been a man's job to perform the role of the warrior in a given group. Modern life gives men little to no opportunity to express their aggression physically and connect their psyche with the archetype of the warrior. This is one of the main reasons why men are feeling completey lost. They lack that connection with the ancient archetype of the masculine warrior.
But there are still a couple of ways in which a man can use that aggression physically: through fighting, exploring, and through feats of strength.
The most effective and productive, in my opinion, is fighting. I strongly recommend you join your local martial arts gym. This will not only help you utilize your aggression in a healthy way, but you'll learn an extremely valuable and necessary skill in the process. Additionally, you'll find likeminded men and make new friends, which is always important.
Males have always fought with each other. This is not toxic, it's beautiful. It's how we shape ourselves from boys into men. A boy who never fights is a boy that is in danger of never becoming a man.
Lifting weights is another great way to make good use of your masculine combativeness. While I don't find it to be as effective as actual fighting, it still is a very valid way to blow off some steam while becoming better in the process. I've written amptly about the topic of lifting weights, and I find it to be essential for any man. Channeling your aggression through lifting weights is a perfectly acceptable way of using that mystical masculine energy in a productive fashion.
Finally, a man can physically channel his aggression by exploring the natural world and going on adventures. All that energy that you have can be invested in gathering experiences, in facing danger, in learning more about the world and in seeing beautiful places all over the earth. Going on hikes, living in nature and facing the challenges of the unknown outdoors shape your character, and make for a very productive use of your masculine energy.
Channel your aggression through work and creation
Work is essential to live a purposeful life. A man that has no work is most likely an empty and lost man. You can use your natural aggression to supercharge your professional and financial life.
Let me explain: Aggresiveness is a virtue. Aggressiveness is the opposite of passiveness, of laziness. Aggressiveness is action, it’s decisive forward motion. It’s about getting things done over and over again, not complaining, and not quitting. It’s making things happen, not waiting for them to happen magically.
Aggressiveness means tackling the problems of life with a can-do mentality, it means not stopping when trouble arises, it means being able to work and work some more even if results don’t manifest themselves immediately. It means being able to keep your head down and work your ass off, it means not wasting your life watching TV and being lazy, but rather getting up every single day with enough courage and drive to pursue your goals and dreams.
You see now? Aggression is the driving force of masculine achievement. It's what keeps you in the fight when you fail again and again. It's what has allowed men to build empires and monuments.
If you are wise, you can transmute your aggression into professional and financial achievements. You can use it to find motivation when all you want to do is lie down and rest.
Your masculine energy is one of your biggest assets. Whenever you start to feel it grow inside of you, get to work and get things done. This is a game-changer, I assure you.
Creation is another sensational way of making of your aggression a positive force. Write, paint, make music, create inspiring content, or whatever else you like. Creation is the ultimate way of using your emotions for good. Take advantage of all that energy and drive that makes you a man and create works of art that will outlast your fleeting life. Not many things could be more gratifying than that.
The lies that we've been told about masculinity have done enough damage already. Young boys are being attacked, shamed, and humiliated for their masculine characteristics, and the result is that we're living amongst the most resentful and lost generation that has ever existed. Masculine aggression is a virtue, if it is used properly. But try to eliminate it, and make men ashamed for having it iinside of them, and what you'll get are the most evil forms of aggression possible.
Do not feel ashamed for feeling that fire within you. I assure you, all of us have it, and it’s the only thing that’s truly ours. Embrace it, learn to harness it, and let it fuel you.