Try Praying Like This
Prayer is your best tool in troubling times.
In the battlefield of life, very often you’ll find yourself lost and alone.
As a man, you’ll frequently feel unrewarded for the efforts that you are putting in, and sometimes you’ll receive no sympathy from those around you.
I know this can seem discouraging, but it’s just the way it is, and the way it’s always been. It’s not good or bad, it’s just something that we have to learn to deal with. Men have a role to play, and we are here to play that role, regardless of how we feel.
I’m not saying you can’t feel down, or that sometimes a man’s emotions won’t get the better of him. We are human after all, and emotions are a big part of our experience. I too feel sad, lonely and beaten down sometimes (you can read my book if you want to see just how true that is). We all do. And very often you’ll have to go through those tough times on your own, with no one else but God to hear you out and support you. If you build a solid relationship with Him you’ll find that His presence and support is more than enough for you to develop the strength required to get back up and attack life again.
I’ve only recently been learning how to truly pray. I still don’t know if I’m doing it correctly, but I can tell you that it is an activity that brings peace to my soul and serves as a refuge where I can rest, recenter, and find wisdom in the midst of the ongoing battles of life, business, and love.
Not Meditation
When my self-improvement journey was mostly secular, I added meditation to my daily routine. I remember those days fondly, and I can vouch for the effectiveness of the meditative practice in helping you recenter, slow down, and find your focus again. I think meditation is a good practice.
But it’s not the same as prayer. The main difference, as I see it, is that meditation is passive, whereas prayer is active. Meditating is all about emptying your mind, focusing on your breathing, and getting yourself to feel the present moment (this might not be an exact description of all types of meditation, but all variations will be something similar to this). Prayer, in contrast, is an active, personal conversation with God. It’s not the same, not even close.
Atheists have tried to make the argument that meditation is the secular equivalent of faithful prayer, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Prayer is an activity that is reserved for those who believe in God, because it requires faith and belief for you to have that conversation with Him. Men of faith can use both prayer and meditation as tools to serve different purposes, whereas atheists can only use meditation and don’t have access to prayer —add another argument to the long list of reasons why being a Christian is better than being an atheist.
Prayer Has Changed My Life
Think about the power of prayer: you have direct access to the infinite wisdom of God. He’s there for you, ready to hear you out whenever you need Him. All you have to do is ask Him, with a pure heart, to help you. And He will.
Prayer shifted the trajectory of my entire life. When I started taking it seriously, and praying in the way I’m about to share, the answers to the questions that were pressing me started to arise from thin air. Connections and crazy coincidences started appearing all around me, pointing me in the right direction, showing me the way.
Like I said, I have no idea if the way I’m praying is the “right way”. I’m still somewhat young in my journey of faith and I’m constantly learning how to build a better, stronger relationship with God. But I know praying like this has helped me massively, and I think that goes to show that it’s worth a try.
How I’m Praying Lately
Prayer varies depending on where you are in your life, what you are struggling with, and what you need. I’m at a period of transition in my life; I am faced with big choices on a daily basis, and very often I don’t know what the right decision is. For that reason, I’m praying mostly for discernment.
Lately, whenever I sit down to pray, I ask for the following:
God, open the doors you want me to walk through and close those you want me to ignore.
Talk to me and direct me in your ways.
Make my heart similar to yours and align my will to yours.
My heart is reckless and frail, help me choose the things that align with your plan for me.
Grant me the patience to wait when it’s time to wait, and to not rush into things that are not in agreement with your divine will.
Grant me the humility to accept your plan and not my own.
God, help me to see what you want me to see.
Holy Spirit, illuminate me so I can gain wisdom about how to act, how to speak, how to think, and what to pursue.
Work through me, speak through me, and act through me.
And give me the courage to carry my cross with strength and follow Christ in all that I do.
Amen.
I have found that asking for wisdom begets wisdom. Asking for patience begets patience. God answers prayer. Now, of course this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll receive whatever you ask for —God is not some spiritual vending machine like many have tried to make Him to be— but if you ask for the right things: virtues of your spirit, and you do so with an honest heart, it’s very likely that God will send you precisely what you need to develop what you need to develop.
Next time you are feeling overwhelmed, down, or lost, try the prayer above and let me know if it helps you. I know it has helped me and many men I know massively.
God bless you today and always, and always remember that God has your back, He loves you, and He has a plan for you. All you need to do is trust Him, even if you don’t understand his workings yet.
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I once heard someone describe secular meditation as emptying oneself out, but prayer to the on true God is an act of filling yourself up—pouring the Holy Spirit into your empty places. I rather liked that explanation. I too did the meditation thing before becoming a Christian, and now I pray every day. Like you say, not sure if I’m doing it right, but I’m doing it—and I find as I talk to God I get answers.
Thank-you for posting this.
I always look forward to reading your posts.
That having been said, and not wanting to be contradictory or pedantic, I feel compelled to make a couple notes, to writ:
* According to the spiritual teachings of St John of The Cross, St Teresa of Avila, Garrigou LaGrange, Johann Tayler, and Aquinas, Saurez, Billot, Marcel Lefebvre et Al, meditation is, in fact, a form of prayer. The Ignatian meditations exemplify poignantly that in meditation, one is active rather than passive.
* Contemplation, on the contrary, highest form of prayer, is passive rather than active.
* It is the false meditation style of the Buddhists that says we must empty ourselves, thinking of nothing.
Contrarywise, in Christian meditation, the mind is active and the antitheses of emptying ourselves.
* That having been said, there is, indeed, a place for the Eastern model of meditation:
Focusing on breathing, practicing being in the moment, etc (especially for those with any anxiety issues, among other variables.
* I heartily recommend, and cannot recommend enough, the work
"Achieving Peace of Heart" by Narciso Orals, S.J., published by Abbey Press.
Don't be deceived by the title -- It is a vademecum for re-educating the Will, the intellect, the emotional apparatus, and provides the best methods of relaxation, breathing exercises, and all the best the Eastern models of meditation can provide.and uses the most Catholic and Thomist methods of classical Swiss psychoanalysis tools that have proved extraordinarily more effective than the Freudian model, with a neglible ratio of attrition that typifies Freudian and pop culture methods of therapy (such as A.A., with an over 90 % attrition rate!).
* Please correct me if I've misunderstood your post, as I haven't yet had my morning coffee.
+ Pax, frater!.+