The Whispers of Our Lord

Reflections from a weekend in silence.

“If you love truth, be a lover of silence.”
— St. Isaac the Syrian

I spent the last weekend (from Friday to Monday) in total silence, without my phone or any screens, living in a monastery and going through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola.

The Spiritual Exercises are a series of meditations, contemplations, and reflections that help us prepare the soul to remove disordered affections and prepare it to seek and find God’s will for our lives. They are a great tool for discernment, abandonment to God’s will, and to grow in love and detachment from the world.

I felt particularly motivated to take part in this retreat because I’m going through a period of great change in my life, and in the busyness of my current daily life, it’s rare to find a moment of silence.

The experience was very moving, and I learnt some important lessons which I would like to share with you in this article. Not only so you can meditate on them, but also hopefully to motivate you to go through the Spiritual Exercises yourself.

A painting of the chapel of the monastery I stayed in (not my work).

1. We’re Way Too Distracted

The first thing I noticed during the retreat, even before getting into the exercises, was how difficult it was to be without my phone for even a few hours. I found myself reaching towards my pocket frequently, even though I’d left my phone on airplane mode and switched off in my room.

During the first day, my mind was racing anxiously from thought to thought, unable to focus properly and requiring great effort to focus on the spiritual exercises themselves. It was very shocking to realize just how unaccustomed I was to silence. Keeping silent wasn’t difficult, but the overall quietness of the monastery and not being inundated by external stimuli was quite a challenge for my restless mind.

It made me realize just how distracted we are on our day to day lives, so much that we’ve become complete strangers to silence —both internal and external.

2. This Constant Overstimulation Has Us Chronically Exhausted

The next thing I noticed was how incredibly tired I was. The stillness of the retreat made it impossible for me to ignore my exhausted mind and body.

It became clear after the first few hours that the modern lifestyle, with its constant overstimulation, makes it difficult to get true rest: the blue screens that we are glued to distract our minds and bodies so much that we don’t even realize we need to disconnect. And then we wake up the next day and immediately dive back into the dopamine of our phones, computers and TVs, so we don’t ever notice that we’re becoming chronically exhausted.

3. The World Doesn’t End If You Disconnect for a Few Days

I don’t even remember the last time I was disconnected for so long. Consciously, I knew nothing bad was going to happen, but subconsciously, I was always thinking that I needed to check my phone “just in case” something urgent demanded my attention.

And of course, when I finally turned on my phone 4 days later, nothing urgent had happened. Everything was the same. I just had a few more emails and a few more messages than normal.

We often justify our addiction by insisting that something urgent might need our attention. And the truth is, there’s rarely anything urgent. Usually we’re just desperate for distractions and quick dopamine.

---

---

4. There’s Only One Worthy Purpose in Life

St. Ignatius Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises begin by having us meditate on what he calls “The First Principle and Foundation”, which is a clear explanation of the purpose for which God created us:

The human person is created to praise, reverence and serve God our Lord, and by doing so to save his or her soul; and it is for the human person that the other things on the face of the earth are created, as helps to the pursuit of this end. It follows from this that the person has to use these things insofar as they help towards this end, and to be free of them insofar as they stand in the way of it.

To attain this, we need to make ourselves indifferent towards all created things, provided the matter is subject to our free choice and there is no prohibition. Thus for our part we should not want health more than sickness, wealth more than poverty, fame more than disgrace, a long life more than a short one—and so with everything else; desiring and choosing only what conduces more to the end for which we are created.¹

Everyone ponders often on the meaning and purpose of life, and it was refreshing to find such a clear and concise answer like the one above. That definition serves as the foundation —hence the name—, upon which we can start building a meaningful life and moving forward in the pursuit of sanctity.

As you meditate on the First Principle and foundation, you come to realize the truth of it: there really isn’t any other meaning to our existence beyond what’s stated above. The only worthy purpose in life is to seek to do God’s will, in order to save your soul, and live a life of deep joy, gratitude and fulfillment.

None of the things in this world will bring you that same sense of purpose, and only in the eternal will you find the peace and happiness you seek.

5. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a Beautiful Gift

The Spiritual Exercises were initially intended to be a one-time only event spanning for a whole month. However, many applications of the Spiritual Exercises have been adapted to fit the modern schedule, which is why this particular retreat lasted only 4 days.

In the first week of the exercises (which in this case meant just the first day), one of the most crucial things that we seek to experience is the profound mercy of Our Lord by doing a general confession.

This is done in an attempt to do a thorough examination of conscience, so that we can truly grasp the utter ugliness of sin and just how much we need God’s grace.

It was truly one of the most moving encounters I’ve had with God’s infinite mercy, and forcing myself to look at all the wrongs I’ve done in the past and to receive grace and mercy from Our Lord was something that further motivated me to follow Him faithfully. Never before had I truly felt in my heart the desire to surrender my entire life to Him.

Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess.

Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will.

Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.
— Ignatius Loyola

6. It’s Not About Doing Much, but About Doing What is Pleasing to The Lord

The priest who was leading the retreat said this during one of the preparations for the silent meditation, and I immediately felt compelled to write it down on my notebook.

You see, we often become incredibly concerned with doing great works for God, and we feel inadequate when we don’t achieve the massively impressive goals we set for ourselves. This was a strong, touching reminder that God cares much more about our doing what pleases Him and aligns with His will, not necessarily by doing those big projects that impact millions. If we can, that’s fine, but we cannot let ourselves move our focus away from what really matters: surrendering our heart to Him in every little decision we make.

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; one thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from her.”
— Luke 10:41-42

7. You Won’t Sink if You Keep Your Gaze on Jesus

But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
— Matthew 14:30-31

This is one of my favorite passages and one that holds a special place in my heart. I always go back to it when I’m going through rough phases, because it reassures me and reminds me of something critical: doubt is what makes you sink. Not the storm.

Peter is walking firmly on the water, but he’s only able to do so as long as he’s looking at Jesus. As soon as he starts looking at the storm, he begins to sink.

This is the same in our own lives. It is when we focus on the raging storm that we start doubting God’s providence and God’s goodness. God gives us the strength we need to endure, but only if we have the discipline and faith to remain steadfast in Him instead of letting the chaos and the storm lead us to doubt and fear.

If you, like me, have lately been caught up in the fast-pace of the modern world, I encourage you to try and find a way to disconnect for a day or two and either go through the Spiritual Exercises or use that time for prayer, contemplation, and for a more intimate encounter with Christ.

God knows we need that, now more than ever.

Finally, I encourage you to pray the aforementioned prayer often, to feel the weight of the words fully, and to find, through surrendering to His Divine will, the peace that your heart longs for.

My room at the monastery.

---

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this post and could leave a like or comment it would be greatly appreciated, as it will help my work reach more people.

If you liked this article, you’ll love my books.

Get them here.

1. Translation by Michael Ivens, SJ, Understanding the Spiritual Exercises, p.29