The 5 Levels Of Lust
And how to beat each one.
On the road to virtue, the question of defeating lust is one that remains perhaps the most pressing, in our promiscuous and oversexualized day and age. I’m glad to see so many young men and women deciding to pursue chastity and purity over the degrading and depraved lifestyle that the modern world promotes.
There is however, one mistake I’ve seen many of us make, and that is that we are still setting standards for virtue that are too low. Most think that if we reject casual sex and pornography, we’ve defeated lust altogether. But the truth is that those are just the first two steps on a ladder. A never-ending one, as is every ladder that climbs up towards virtue.
Yet even if we accept that we won’t ever be 100% free of our sinful inclinations, we still need to set higher standards for ourselves, and when it comes to lust specifically, it’s helpful to think of the fight against this vice as one consisting of 5 distinct levels, each one progressively more difficult than the last one.
It’s not enough to simply quit pornography and think ourselves to be rid of lust. We need to set higher standards for ourselves, and understand that the fight against sin is something that will most likely last our entire lives. We need to remember that what we strive towards is the ultimate virtue, the ultimate purity, and while climbing the first 2 steps of the ladder is valuable and honorable, it’s not the end, but the beginning of your battle against the temptations of the flesh.
A quick note before you move on: I decided a while ago that I would never paywall articles talking about lust, chastity, and sexual immorality. I know this topic is a big pain for many men, and I could get a lot of new paid subscribers if I paywalled it, but I don’t want to charge for any helpful advice I might have because I have seen in the men close to me the grip of this vice and this battle is a cause that I hold close to my heart.
So this, and all future articles about this topic will be free, in the hopes that it can help as many young men as possible.
This blog is how I make a living though, so all I ask from you in return is that if you find value in this article or in my work in general, you consider upgrading your subscription. It’s only $5/month or $50/year for you to get access to all the articles, the full archive, and all the other premium benefits. This is affordable for nearly everyone, and it helps me massively to keep growing this publication and reinvest into this project.
With that being said, here are the 5 levels of lust and what you can do to beat each one:
Level 1: Casual Sex
Rejecting casual sex is the first, and easiest step in the fight against lust. The reason it’s the easiest level is that for you to engage in casual sex there’s a lot more steps and effort required than for the next levels.
For you to fall for this, you need to physically meet someone else, build some kind of a relationship —albeit a quick, superficial and vane one, but a relationship nonetheless—, and then take the remaining steps to have sex with them.
It’s a longer and more difficult process than say, opening up your phone and looking something up. Which makes it also the easiest level to defeat.
To stop having casual sex, it’s usually as simple as avoiding those places where you’ll be tempted and avoiding the people that push you towards this behavior. There are many steps between you getting an urge and actually acting on it (on this level), and that means there are plenty of opportunities to stop before you sin.
To beat this level: Stop drinking (it clouds your judgment and kills your inhibitions), stop going out to those places that people go to just to find a sexual partner, stop surrounding yourself with people who normalize degenerate behavior. This might sound extreme, but there’s no measure extreme enough to protect your soul and the soul of those women you might damage if you continue with your narcissistic ways.
Level 2: P*rnography
After beating the first level, which can be done by being mindful of the company you keep and the places you frequent, most men start struggling with p*rnography. This level is trickier, because whereas level 1 required some effort and multiple steps at which you could stop and redirect your behavior, it’s way too easy to find adult content nowadays. That means that it’ll take stronger self-control over your appetites to beat this level.
For this level, I wrote a full protocol that you can read here:
To beat this level (summary of the aforementioned protocol — READ IT ANYWAY): Open your eyes to the dark reality of watching p*rn, realize you’re voluntarily cucking yourself, eliminate triggers, develop incentives for good behavior and punishments for relapse, don’t keep count of the days you’re free from this filth, and separate your identity from the habit. As mentioned, read the protocol, where everything is explained in detail.
Level 3: Masturbation
After quitting p*rn, most guys stop fighting lust. They think they already beat it, and they feel perfectly comfortable jerking off as long as they don’t do it while watching adult content. But like I said at the beginning of this article, we need to set higher standards of behavior. The battle against lust doesn’t end here.
From the Catholic perspective:
That means that not just the disordered actions constitute lust, but the very desire is sinful too. Talk about setting high standards of behavior, Not only are we called to abstain from disordered sexual behavior, but also to remove the disordered desire from our heart.
Masturbation is undeniably a lustful behavior, because it attacks your own dignity and separates the sexual act from the procreative and unitive purposes of marriage. I’ve talked with many Christian men who refuse to accept masturbation as sinful and disordered, and that just goes to show how low the standards of behavior of Christian men have fallen.
To beat this level: Fast frequently (controlling the appetite for food trains the same muscles required to control the appetite for sexual gratification). Go to confession regularly, find strength in God and prayer. Recognize triggers and learn to understand what environmental factors lead you to sin, and then eliminate them. Refer to the earlier protocol.
Level 4: Lustful Eyes
Sexual immorality can easily start with your gaze. If you don’t learn to control it, you will slowly let lustful thoughts get into your head, and from then it’s a matter of time before those thoughts lead you towards sinful acts.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
— Matthew 5:27-28
Jesus couldn’t have been clearer: looking at a woman lustfully is already a sin, and a transgression against the sixth commandment. Because it’s not only your outward actions that matter, but also the contents of your heart. Not only because it’s a sin to indulge in lustful thinking and feeling on its own, but also because a lustful heart begets sexually inmoral actions.
To beat this level: First, accept that looking at a woman lustfully is not acceptable. Then, become aware of every time you do it, and learn to stop and divert your gaze. Look at the floor or at the sky if necessary. Again, if this sounds extreme, remember that no measure is extreme enough when it’s your soul that’s at stake.
Level 5: Lustful Thoughts
The final battle is the one against your own restless, often disordered mind. Controlling the outward expression of lustful urges (sex outside of marriage, masturbation, and your gaze), is child’s play when compared to how difficult it is to maintain purity in your mind and soul. This is the real battle, and also the final step to take on the road to virtue.
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
— Colossians 3:2
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
— Proverbs 4:23
Maybe perfection is unattainable, but I am convinced that we can get very, very close to it. The man who’s in control of what goes on inside his head is the man who’s closest to virtue and purity.
To beat this level: Pray often, go to confession regularly, and memorize some Scripture verses that you can repeat whenever you start to lose control over your mind. These are some of my favorites:
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
— The Jesus Prayer
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
— Matthew 5:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
— Philippians 4:8
How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
— Psalm 119:9-11
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
— James 4:7
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
— Galatians 5:16
It’s very interesting how as soon as you beat one level, the devil attacks you on the next level, one battle replaced by an even tougher one. Don’t be discouraged by this, as the emergence of new battles is proof that you’re walking forward.
God is with you, you are in my prayers, and surely too in the prayers of all the men who fight this battle alongside you. Don’t ever stop trying, you might fail, relapse, and sin, but the devil only wins if you turn away from Christ, lose hope, and stop striving for holiness.
May God bless you and keep you,
Simple Man
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In Eastern theology, the order is reversed: the first level is fighting at the thoughts, then with the senses (vision), then acting out
Keep pushing the bar higher, brother. The ladder really does end in the Beatitude you quoted: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”