Ten Signs You're Lacking Fortitude
And how to build this virtue in a world that's gone soft.
Let’s be completely honest about it: in the modern world, nearly ALL of us have become softer than we should. Fortitude is one of the four cardinal virtues, and the Magisterium defines it as:
Does that sound like a common virtue among the masses of modern men?
It wouldn’t be a stretch to claim that fortitude is the virtue most of us lack the most. And precisely because our world desperately needs men of fortitude, it’s important to do a thorough self-diagnosis, and ask ourselves honestly if we are among the millions of men who’ve let the comfort of the world drive them to softness, weakness, and passivity.
I want to go over 10 signs that show you’re lacking fortitude, so that you can assess your own life and see if this is a virtue that you should try to develop more intentionally.
At the end of this article, I’ll also provide actionable advice based on St. Thomas’ wisdom regarding how to build this virtue, especially in a society that puts great effort into depriving men from it.
Ten Signs You’re Lacking Fortitude
10. You avoid difficulty even when you know it’s necessary
Do a thorough audit of the decisions you’ve made lately. Don’t just analyze the big ones, but also the small ones that relate to how you live your daily life. If you find that you consistently choose the easier option, and do so not because it’s wiser, but out of an attachment to comfort and out of fear of taking risks, you might be lacking fortitude.
9. You quit when the initial motivation fades
It’s a sign of spiritual and mental weakness to start multiple initiatives only to quit halfway. There’s nothing wrong with using the initial boost that motivation provides to get going, but you cannot be reliant on it to bring projects and purposes to completion. Ask yourself if you might be someone who “usually quits halfway”, once the initial enthusiasm fades. If this sounds like you, you need to prioritize building fortitude.
8. You procrastinate on hard conversations
Having difficult conversations is one of the most important skills that a man should master. It requires great courage and a firm commitment to a moral code. If after doing the necessary introspection you realize that you usually delay facing conflicts, setting boundaries, or telling the truth, you probably are lacking fortitude.
7. You confuse prudence with fear
This one might be offensive for many, but that just makes it even more important to discuss. I’ve seen many men who justify their inaction and their lack of healthy risk-taking by calling it “discernment.”
The sad reality is that discernment has become a comfortable excuse to avoid risk, commitment or responsibility. If you take very long to make decisions, or if you constantly revert back to saying “I’m discerning” when asked to make a choice, you might be simply masking your cowardice and using a false prudence to avoid acting. That is a conclusive sign that you’re lacking fortitude.
6. You need constant reassurance to act
If you’re always asking for opinions upon opinions before you decide, it might be a sign that you are lacking the internal conviction that the virtue of fortitude creates. Hesitation, doubt, and fear of making the wrong choice are what lead you to seek outside affirmation and approval for your decisions. A man of fortitude can act with confidence, and make quick decisions using the information he has available, instead of postponing decision-making until everyone agrees with him.
5. You collapse under sustained pressure
If you find yourself incapable of persevering through difficult or stressful situations, it’s a sign that you’re lacking the virtue of fortitude. If you feel capable of handling short bursts of effort, but not so prolonged sacrifice, monotony, or suffering, this is a virtue that you need to develop ASAP.
We strive for nothing less than to be saints, and that will require great fortitude, to persevere through trials, to fight for our purity, and to deny ourselves daily, until the day The Lord calls us to Him.
4. You escape your responsibilities
Ask yourself if you’re letting distractions consume your life out of a silent desire to use them as an escape. Do you retreat into distractions to avoid facing your responsibilities? Do you procrastinate often, and let screens, entertainment, food, or comfort draw you away from your duty? If so, fortitude is something that you’re lacking.
3. You resent duties that limit your “freedom”
Following up on #4, if you also find yourself resenting those duties that you avoid, it shows that you’re disorderly attached to comfort, quick dopamine, and distractions. Responsibilities should feel like vocations, and a man of fortitude should approach them with a spirit of humility and commitment. If you feel yourself drawn to the childish “freedom” that comes with a lack of responsibilities, you need to develop fortitude.
2. You lack consistency in prayer during difficulty
There are few things more difficult than persevering in your prayer life over the long term. A man of fortitude understands that every talent, every strength, and every positive thing in his life stems from a deep, loving relationship with God, and thus prioritizes prayer. If your prayer life becomes irregular or superficial when life becomes busy or when trials intensify, you need to work on the virtue of fortitude so that you can grown in discipline and perseverance in your spiritual efforts.
1. You admire strength in others but excuse weakness in yourself
Many of us live vicariously through the strong men we see in movies, entertainment, or even around us in our lives. If you are one of the many who praise courage, sacrifice, and perseverance, who feel drawn to it and yet rationalize your own hesitation and softness, you should prioritize building fortitude so that you can be one of the men who showcase uncommon strength, discipline, and fortitude.
If you identify with any of the previous signs, you should make of building fortitude an absolute priority. Your family needs a strong leader, and so does your community. God wants no man weak, and we’ve been failing miserably at becoming the strong men that He calls us to be.
Thankfully, Scripture and St. Thomas can show us the way and teach us exactly what we need to do to build fortitude and become uncommon men:
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