..."but in practice he becomes incapable of perceiving the deeper realities of what grace, repentance, or chastity actually means for him."
Unfortunately, I know this all too well. I'm sure many other have experienced the same. It is crazy how clouded your mind can become when you partake in this particular kind of sin. Lust specifically is becoming so commonplace, so normal in society and many don't even realize what it does. Through Christ, it can be conquered. Great read, God bless!
It really is astounding how much it blinds you and how much mental gymnastics you end up engaging in to justify sin. But as you say, through Christ we can conquer it! Glad you liked the article Garrett, God bless you!
{I should clarify: I was not addicted to pornography, nor lust itself, but rather sexual gratification only. Fortunately, I was never comfortable with even soft porn. Sorry, if I was not clear on that.] On lust: It's an addiction, and in many ways has to be addressed that way. Unlike others, however, I don't believe that any addiction is necessarily for life. It may take years to completely overcome an addiction, but it will become less and less of an issue over time--if you can persevere in denying it. Like anything in life, though, temptation is always a test; your strength of Faith can, and will, help you overcome it, if you are willing to suffer foregoing the pleasure. You will, in my own experience, be regularly tested on any temptations that you have had trouble with for the rest of your life, with those tests becoming less and less as you are able to stand your ground more and more. If you can be steadfast--which is part of your Faith--eventually you will probably find that those moments of temptation aren't really that hard to overcome anymore, and maybe will also be fewer and further between. However, if you view them nonchalantly, or think that it's okay to give in to them periodically, the addiction can flare up and become even worse. It's really about character, strength, and Faith, I think. When I started on my journey of Faith 26 years ago, I had several addictions to deal with, and lust was one of them. I fought with it for nearly 7 years before I finally overcame it, breaking down in tears to ask my Creator for help. Even though that was nearly 20 years ago, and I've been celibate for the last nearly 10 years, I still get tested sometimes. Now, though, it's generally a fleeting thing that I don't allow to really enter my thoughts--when I feel that happening, I just reject it as something that is foreign to my being, and it disappears fairly quickly. I am so thankful for my Faith, because it has saved my life and my soul. Falun Dafa Hao! :)
Thank you for sharing your testimony, Barbara. I'm sure many will read it and find inspiration to persevere in the pursuit of chastity. Praise the Lord and love to hear that you have found healing and transformation. God really is great. Many blessings and thank you for reading!
Thank you very much for the kind and encouraging words Shelly 🙏🏻 I truly appreciate your support and I'm glad to hear you liked the article. God bless you!
This two-part series on sexual sin is terrific. Thank you for offering a stellar explanation of the "daughters of lust." I recently published a column on the unique difficulty lust presents for many Catholics, and I hope your words provide some guidance on navigating the struggle.
I live alone in my 50s and still succumb to porn continually. I can't get more than three days clean. This has been a 30 plus year addiction and I've been a Christian believer the entire time.
It can be a lifelong battle brother. Persevere. And I'd suggest going to confession often. It was a game changer for me. Also, partaking in the Eucharist. The Sacraments are singlehandedly the best way to let Christ transform us deeply
You can still beat this Sevin. You are definitely not alone in this struggle. Follow Jesus, go to confession. It takes guts to admit it to a priest. Also get out and find a wife. A real loving relationship is a million times better than watching fake filth. Join a men's group at church or on meetup. It's a long road but God will walk with you. Develop strong faith that God can see everything you do and is offended. When you rebuild your friendship with Jesus life gets so much better. Things go more easily in life. (grace). Peace.
This is a little late but your story is my story. Go to extremes and figuratively cut off the hand and pluck out the eye. I downloaded covenant eyes and put it on every device I owned. My smart TV had a web browser and I threw it in the trash and switched to reading books. Covenant eyes has an accountability Ally function and I picked my manager who is a Christian man and if I even look at a woman in a bikini online it notifies him and sends a blurred screenshot. It locks settings to safe search and you can make your ally the admin so you can't delete the app and even if hes not and you delete it he will be notified. With this level of time and addiction you can't do this without help and you are under the tyranny of the passion and need a brother to aid you and supervision. It's the best decision I ever made and the best 20$ a month I've ever spent. You have to ask yourself to I want freedom from slavery really and do I follow the Lord or not?
Very good and profund article, I'm grateful for your work in instructing us catholics about the deep, and potentially everlasting, consequences of sexual sins.
Here’s the part that took me a while to see: Paul never says they sinned and then their minds went dark. He says they exchanged the truth, refused to give thanks, let the heart go dark — and the appetites took over after that. The order matters. We keep fighting at step six. The exchange happened at step one.
The considerations are interesting. However, I wonder if married couples are less intelligent than totally virgin people, if it is true that sexual pleasure clouds the mind.
I have been using Relay for a while now, and while it helps, it doesn’t solve the problem of always having a device that’s one step away from accessing Porn. Current porn blockers are expensive, don’t work, or are easy to remove, so I’m developing one that actually works. If you are interested in helping me get the word out, or if you would like to be a beta tester, please let me know. I can use all the help I can get!
I have some problems with this article. (I will be using gender-neutral language because I believe both men and women struggle with sexual sin.)
1) Blindness of mind: I think you are attempting to know the heart of man, which only God is capable of knowing. To counter this point, I have known people who genuinely and clearly understand the concepts and necessity of grace, repentance, and chastity. God's grace is a great motivator for them in their fight against temptation. Repentance is something they regularly turn to. And it's not difficult to understand the concept of chastity beyond not being with someone outside of marriage.
2) Rashness: I think there is some truth to this point. I have witnessed this kind of behavior before in some (but not all) who struggle with sexual sin. However, the idea of incapability is still hidden in this point without being explicitly stated, and I think that leaves a strong tone of hopelessness for the reader. People are not unable to act un-impulsively when struggling with sexual sin. I have witnessed those who have successfully acted against their impulses.
3) Thoughtlessness/lack of consideration: I know people who are more than capable of weighing the consequences of their actions, either before or after giving in to temptation. Again, impulsivity is certainly a factor, but my argument from Point 2 still stands.
4) Inconstancy: Saying "I will never do X again" is, at its core, a very human thing, and not just tied to sexual sin. Hypocrisy is a result of the Fall and is present in every human being. People make promises they can't keep all the time. They make resolutions that they are incapable of following perfectly. Yes, I used the word "incapable" because that is what the Bible says. Humans are physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally unable to successfully fight against any and all sin 100% of the time. That is called perfection, something we cannot achieve this side of Heaven. But having a resolution to never return to sexual sin is not a bad thing. It can be a good motivator, but it cannot stand by itself. Sexual temptation thrives in a vacuum. Don't just not fall into temptation. Replace that behavior with something else: Instead of sitting there fighting the temptation with sheer willpower, go for a walk, find a way to be with people, or read a book. Whatever it is, leave the space you're currently occupying and do something else. Keep doing that until the temptation is gone.
5) I don't see a lot of grace and forgiveness in this article. There is so much talk of incapability and hopelessness that simply quoting Philippians 4:13 is not sufficient for counteracting the insults and discouraging comments made in this post. When someone struggles with sexual sin, they are not completely and utterly incapable of fighting it. Yes, they absolutely need God's strength to fight it, but that doesn't mean they are just sitting and waiting around for God to take the temptations away and remove the impulses on a spiritual level. They have to put in the effort to fight. God gives them the strength; now they have to use it.
I am grateful for your good intentions behind this article, but I worry that it is doing more harm than good. It is preaching more hopelessness and guilt than it is grace and mercy. We are so much more than our sin because our identity is found in the perfect, risen Christ and what our Lord has done for us, not in who we are or what we can do.
In a small personal response. All I can say is that when I am in a battle with pornography and hold true repentance after I fall, I almost immediately feel empowered by God's grace to get up and at it again. If I fall into it and don't repent for several days, It quickly clouds my mind and opens it up quickly to other voices outside of the Holy Spirit.
All I want to say is thank you for this post, this summarizes everything, you know when you abstain from these behaviors, you feel clean and youe inner you looks up to Jesus always, but this post i will keep close to me.
..."but in practice he becomes incapable of perceiving the deeper realities of what grace, repentance, or chastity actually means for him."
Unfortunately, I know this all too well. I'm sure many other have experienced the same. It is crazy how clouded your mind can become when you partake in this particular kind of sin. Lust specifically is becoming so commonplace, so normal in society and many don't even realize what it does. Through Christ, it can be conquered. Great read, God bless!
It really is astounding how much it blinds you and how much mental gymnastics you end up engaging in to justify sin. But as you say, through Christ we can conquer it! Glad you liked the article Garrett, God bless you!
{I should clarify: I was not addicted to pornography, nor lust itself, but rather sexual gratification only. Fortunately, I was never comfortable with even soft porn. Sorry, if I was not clear on that.] On lust: It's an addiction, and in many ways has to be addressed that way. Unlike others, however, I don't believe that any addiction is necessarily for life. It may take years to completely overcome an addiction, but it will become less and less of an issue over time--if you can persevere in denying it. Like anything in life, though, temptation is always a test; your strength of Faith can, and will, help you overcome it, if you are willing to suffer foregoing the pleasure. You will, in my own experience, be regularly tested on any temptations that you have had trouble with for the rest of your life, with those tests becoming less and less as you are able to stand your ground more and more. If you can be steadfast--which is part of your Faith--eventually you will probably find that those moments of temptation aren't really that hard to overcome anymore, and maybe will also be fewer and further between. However, if you view them nonchalantly, or think that it's okay to give in to them periodically, the addiction can flare up and become even worse. It's really about character, strength, and Faith, I think. When I started on my journey of Faith 26 years ago, I had several addictions to deal with, and lust was one of them. I fought with it for nearly 7 years before I finally overcame it, breaking down in tears to ask my Creator for help. Even though that was nearly 20 years ago, and I've been celibate for the last nearly 10 years, I still get tested sometimes. Now, though, it's generally a fleeting thing that I don't allow to really enter my thoughts--when I feel that happening, I just reject it as something that is foreign to my being, and it disappears fairly quickly. I am so thankful for my Faith, because it has saved my life and my soul. Falun Dafa Hao! :)
Thank you for sharing your testimony, Barbara. I'm sure many will read it and find inspiration to persevere in the pursuit of chastity. Praise the Lord and love to hear that you have found healing and transformation. God really is great. Many blessings and thank you for reading!
Thank you for caring enough to share, as well. This issue seems to be a real scourge on humanity itself, and I find it to be so tragic. :(
Thanks for having the courage to address uncomfortable issues. You are iron sharpening iron. Sparks fly. Women need to face it, too.
Thank you very much for the kind and encouraging words Shelly 🙏🏻 I truly appreciate your support and I'm glad to hear you liked the article. God bless you!
A profound and powerful article! Thanks for sharing this.
Glad you liked the article David! God bless you friend
In my struggle and constant failure against temptation, I have found going to confession a source of grace and hope.
Real. Confession is a literal cheat code
This two-part series on sexual sin is terrific. Thank you for offering a stellar explanation of the "daughters of lust." I recently published a column on the unique difficulty lust presents for many Catholics, and I hope your words provide some guidance on navigating the struggle.
Thanks for reading and glad you liked the series brother. God bless you!
I live alone in my 50s and still succumb to porn continually. I can't get more than three days clean. This has been a 30 plus year addiction and I've been a Christian believer the entire time.
It can be a lifelong battle brother. Persevere. And I'd suggest going to confession often. It was a game changer for me. Also, partaking in the Eucharist. The Sacraments are singlehandedly the best way to let Christ transform us deeply
You will see the victory. It is done in Jesus name.
You can still beat this Sevin. You are definitely not alone in this struggle. Follow Jesus, go to confession. It takes guts to admit it to a priest. Also get out and find a wife. A real loving relationship is a million times better than watching fake filth. Join a men's group at church or on meetup. It's a long road but God will walk with you. Develop strong faith that God can see everything you do and is offended. When you rebuild your friendship with Jesus life gets so much better. Things go more easily in life. (grace). Peace.
Hey Sevin. God bless you soo much for owning up.
Have you reached out to a minister or your priest or pastor for help?
Am praying for you🙏
Thank you for your kind words and prayers, Tonia. I am currently looking for a new church home in Pittsburgh.
This is a little late but your story is my story. Go to extremes and figuratively cut off the hand and pluck out the eye. I downloaded covenant eyes and put it on every device I owned. My smart TV had a web browser and I threw it in the trash and switched to reading books. Covenant eyes has an accountability Ally function and I picked my manager who is a Christian man and if I even look at a woman in a bikini online it notifies him and sends a blurred screenshot. It locks settings to safe search and you can make your ally the admin so you can't delete the app and even if hes not and you delete it he will be notified. With this level of time and addiction you can't do this without help and you are under the tyranny of the passion and need a brother to aid you and supervision. It's the best decision I ever made and the best 20$ a month I've ever spent. You have to ask yourself to I want freedom from slavery really and do I follow the Lord or not?
Olá, 👋
Acompanho seu conteúdo do Brasil!🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
Continue firme na Verdade e levando as verdades da Palavra de Deus às pessoas! Amém!
Amen! Saludos mi hermano. Dios te bendiga!
Very good and profund article, I'm grateful for your work in instructing us catholics about the deep, and potentially everlasting, consequences of sexual sins.
Glad you liked the article Victor, thank you for the support!
Mind blowing 🤯 thank you for this piece 🙏🏽
Here’s the part that took me a while to see: Paul never says they sinned and then their minds went dark. He says they exchanged the truth, refused to give thanks, let the heart go dark — and the appetites took over after that. The order matters. We keep fighting at step six. The exchange happened at step one.
The considerations are interesting. However, I wonder if married couples are less intelligent than totally virgin people, if it is true that sexual pleasure clouds the mind.
Sexual pleasure is not the same as sexual sin brother!
I have been using Relay for a while now, and while it helps, it doesn’t solve the problem of always having a device that’s one step away from accessing Porn. Current porn blockers are expensive, don’t work, or are easy to remove, so I’m developing one that actually works. If you are interested in helping me get the word out, or if you would like to be a beta tester, please let me know. I can use all the help I can get!
What a well written article brother! Very insightful and gained a subscriber!
I have some problems with this article. (I will be using gender-neutral language because I believe both men and women struggle with sexual sin.)
1) Blindness of mind: I think you are attempting to know the heart of man, which only God is capable of knowing. To counter this point, I have known people who genuinely and clearly understand the concepts and necessity of grace, repentance, and chastity. God's grace is a great motivator for them in their fight against temptation. Repentance is something they regularly turn to. And it's not difficult to understand the concept of chastity beyond not being with someone outside of marriage.
2) Rashness: I think there is some truth to this point. I have witnessed this kind of behavior before in some (but not all) who struggle with sexual sin. However, the idea of incapability is still hidden in this point without being explicitly stated, and I think that leaves a strong tone of hopelessness for the reader. People are not unable to act un-impulsively when struggling with sexual sin. I have witnessed those who have successfully acted against their impulses.
3) Thoughtlessness/lack of consideration: I know people who are more than capable of weighing the consequences of their actions, either before or after giving in to temptation. Again, impulsivity is certainly a factor, but my argument from Point 2 still stands.
4) Inconstancy: Saying "I will never do X again" is, at its core, a very human thing, and not just tied to sexual sin. Hypocrisy is a result of the Fall and is present in every human being. People make promises they can't keep all the time. They make resolutions that they are incapable of following perfectly. Yes, I used the word "incapable" because that is what the Bible says. Humans are physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally unable to successfully fight against any and all sin 100% of the time. That is called perfection, something we cannot achieve this side of Heaven. But having a resolution to never return to sexual sin is not a bad thing. It can be a good motivator, but it cannot stand by itself. Sexual temptation thrives in a vacuum. Don't just not fall into temptation. Replace that behavior with something else: Instead of sitting there fighting the temptation with sheer willpower, go for a walk, find a way to be with people, or read a book. Whatever it is, leave the space you're currently occupying and do something else. Keep doing that until the temptation is gone.
5) I don't see a lot of grace and forgiveness in this article. There is so much talk of incapability and hopelessness that simply quoting Philippians 4:13 is not sufficient for counteracting the insults and discouraging comments made in this post. When someone struggles with sexual sin, they are not completely and utterly incapable of fighting it. Yes, they absolutely need God's strength to fight it, but that doesn't mean they are just sitting and waiting around for God to take the temptations away and remove the impulses on a spiritual level. They have to put in the effort to fight. God gives them the strength; now they have to use it.
I am grateful for your good intentions behind this article, but I worry that it is doing more harm than good. It is preaching more hopelessness and guilt than it is grace and mercy. We are so much more than our sin because our identity is found in the perfect, risen Christ and what our Lord has done for us, not in who we are or what we can do.
In a small personal response. All I can say is that when I am in a battle with pornography and hold true repentance after I fall, I almost immediately feel empowered by God's grace to get up and at it again. If I fall into it and don't repent for several days, It quickly clouds my mind and opens it up quickly to other voices outside of the Holy Spirit.
All I want to say is thank you for this post, this summarizes everything, you know when you abstain from these behaviors, you feel clean and youe inner you looks up to Jesus always, but this post i will keep close to me.