I don’t know man, I just feel like I’m never truly here. My head is constantly in another place, in another time. Sometimes it’s the past, sometimes it’s the future, and sometimes I just daydream. But I’m never really here.
I feel like my life is passing by and I’m missing the whole thing. I’m always distracted and always thinking about where I should be, instead of enjoying where I am. What’s ironic is that I should love where I am. I used to dream of a life like this. But now that I’m here, my mind jumps straight to the next stage, never stopping to appreciate what I already have and just, you know, live.
A lifetime spent ignoring the present. Your mind set on a future that no one promised you. Hours wasted dreaming of all the things you don’t have yet.
Careful now.
It’s wise to consider the future. It’s smart to think about the life you want to live. But the ideal life, that greener grass that occupies your thoughts, is a mirage, always out of reach. If you let yourself be too attached to a future life that cannot ever be, you won’t get to experience the infinite potential for joy the that the present one offers.
It’s a balancing act, between letting your innate drive plot and plan its way towards something better, and being able to find silence when it’s time to look at your wife in the eyes and listen to her.
If your mind is too occupied with the future, you’ll be of no service to the people you love here, now. They need your presence, not just physically, but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally as well. Failing to return to what’s right there in front of you will slowly lead you toward the abyss of anxious, restless madness.
This single instant of awareness is everything that you’ll get to experience in the decades you walk this earth. Everything else is either gone forever or not at all guaranteed, for you could leave this world at any given moment.
Regaining control over your undisciplined mind requires an act of humble submission to the eternal. If you believe yourself to be the ultimate master of your circumstances, it’s only natural to slowly creep towards this disconnection from the present. Because wherever you are, whatever you have, won’t feel like enough. Every second you will look at those who have it “better”, and let envy take root in your soul, making it impossible to ever be content and satisfied.
Some might say this is a blessing, for it will drive you forward in matters of the world, towards more success, a better career, a bigger house. It is true that this restlessness can help you attain material success. But it comes at the expense of a life lived forever running. And a rushed life is an ungrateful one. A hurried life removes all color and sweetness from this priceless gift we’ve been given.
You need to savor every second with full intensity, and switch off the plotting, dreaming, and planning so you can enjoy the beautiful silence of just being.
The life you’re currently living can be the perfection you are looking for, if you simply stop for a second and open your eyes. When you see, truly see, how the pieces of your past worked to build this perfect present, gratitude will overflow you, joy will be your default, and you will see how the sun shines just a little bit brighter than it used to. You’ll find enjoyment in the simple things you have taken for granted: a conversation with an old friend, the sweet peace of prayer, the shining light in the eyes of your woman, and the profound joy of contemplation.
When you see that your life is perfect by design, as it fits into God’s overarching plan, you will find a weapon to combat anxiety within you: the certainty that wherever you are is precisely where you’re supposed to be, and that nothing else would be better, as where you are is perfect already. You will calm the storm within your mind only when you’re able to think about the future without letting it distract you from the present, and you achieve that by making faith the rock upon which you stand.
There’s an unbroken chain of events that brought you to where you are, starting not with you, nor with your parents, but with God himself, at the moment of creation. That first act set in motion a plan that brought you here, to this exact moment. That initial event caused a never-ending line of dominoes to begin falling, one after the other, creating a spotless picture that we will never see until the end of time, until every piece has fallen and built the image they were designed for.
From childhood, to boyhood, to adolescence, to adulthood, to wherever you might now be, you did some things and refrained from doing others, you thought some thoughts and forgot to think others, you spoke some words and other times chose to keep quiet, and every single little detail of the life you have lived so far has been a piece that fits perfectly into a massively complex puzzle, designed by no one other than our all powerful Creator.
Take a second to breathe in the air of the present and realize how blessed you are to be alive right here and now. Keep a heart full of faith and a soul full of fire, maintain your gaze fixed upon The Lord, and you’ll see you can choose the joy, gratitude, and fulfillment that you dream about right here, right now.
Ad Maiora Nati Sumus,
Juan
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