As someone who studied psychology in college, I can vouch for a lot of what was said here. Therapy for men is pretty much only useful for dealing with serious trauma like coping with the death of a loved one, and it should eventually get to the point where you don’t have to go anymore. A good therapist will have deep insider knowledge of how the mind works and will be able to help you understand the negative thought processes that are preventing you from acting and resolving your mental blockages. Sadly though, yes, these are rare. If a therapist is merely acting as a person to vent to, they are not doing their job properly and could potentially be taking advantage of you to have a stable client base.
I agree completely. I think as with the health system in general, there are very strong financial incentives to keep patients hooked on to drugs, therapy sessions, etc. It takes a very good therapist to ignore that and actually focus on helping their patients, and there aren't many, partly because of the reasons I mentioned in the article
You want to get the best therapy and spiritual program that exists on planet earth, and is available world wide for free to boot?
Go to AA.
No better place to find wise elders and positive social interaction. The only sacrifice you make is to give up booze. You'll soon realize how good of a decision a life of sobriety truly is.
Partly agree with this William. If it's used as a step-up to a booze-free life, where you also can live without the AA after your recovery, then yes.
But if you use AA to 'stay safe' from your sins of alcoholism and can't live without it because there's a potential danger to 'fall back', then no.
Then AA is used as a protection mechanism and you get the same outcome like most therapist have in common: you need me or otherwise your screwed again.
I've listened a podcast with Voddie Bauchman where he's teaching this. He also said that this in itself is a sin. Very interesting viewpoint.
But again, I do agree whit what you're saying if it's done from a Biblical point of view on sin.
100%! I have a friend who's a big advocate for AA and the recovery process and program they offer. Many people don't know that AA has a Catholic background too.
You’re completely right. The progressive nature of so called therapists is no longer optimal for a man. I have had a pretty rough patch over the past months, three failed suicide attempts. I feel as though the disconnect with the world, or just drowning in my own thoughts doesn’t necessarily help, my friend who is a girl tried to talk to me about it. But at the end of the day talking only does so much, there is no practical advice in the sphere of psychiatrists or therapists anymore, it’s more of just talking. Hopefully I find some peace soon
Sorry to hear that brother, will keep you in my prayers. And I hear you, talking doesn't usually fix our problems, changing and taking action usually does. Seek counsel from a trusted priest if you can, I've found with deep-rooted issues it's usually incredibly important to look at the spiritual side of it. Praying for you, stay strong and stay faithful! God is with you
Can you imagine if every priest had to chat with every male in their congregation on a regular basis? They don't have time for all that. The priest's role is to do priestly things. The priest offers sacrifice and administers the sacraments. Brief spiritual guidance, if necessary. If men need to talk they need to develop male friendships with other laymen, ideally, of similar state in life.
It used to be a bit like that with confession though. Priests built a relationship with the people in their congregation and could offer advice beyond just the immediate contrition. We need more priests though, I agree it wouldn't be sustainable as things are right now.
Absolutely, sure, when you have the priest to lay ratio that the Orthodox churches have or maybe Traditionalist FSSP chapel, but not the typical Catholic parish of 10000 families to 1 priest. And that won't work for women. Women tend to have friends and support systems though, but shouldn't be the priest regularly. That builds potential for temptation.
The very title of the article, which is obviously constructed provocatively (which is a hallmark of your headlines), I suggest we modify to "Don't go to my representation of therapy". I explain the reasons below.
Before we move on to the actual justification, I would like to be informed from what sources you draw your knowledge of therapy, apart from communication with individuals who are clearly not drawing on exact knowledge, but on personal, often truncated and simplex ideas about the field.
As someone who uses terms such as "vicious cycle of anxiety" or "obsessive fixation" - which are technical terms often used in psychology - your descriptions of therapy as "venting about problems for an hour every week", "feel listened to", "share problems and talk about them" and "talking about problems" seem supremely simplistic, superficial and unprofessional. This description suggests that your perception of therapy is influenced by a subjective and twisted bias that seems to have contributed to the formulation of the article. Ironically, such an approach brings you closer to pink-haired Suzy, whose twisted bias also prevents her from doing is job adequately. I agree that we can't accept Suzy's views just because she has a University title or authority. But equally, we shouldn't automatically accept everything you write just based on the quantity of your article production. YOUR representation of therapy will not solve deep-seated, complex problems like the general crisis of meaning we see in men today. However, properly conducted therapy with a qualified professional does address such issues, and often at a very subtle level that those who don't understand therapy may misinterpret as you do.
Don't you think that your article, while highlighting individuals who want to work on themselves, may paradoxically achieve the opposite effect? Have you considered that such content might discourage some people from seeking professional help because it leads them to believe that they should handle all problems on their own and that they don't need help to feel better.
Further, wording like "This is simply my two cents on topic..." evokes in me exactly why I am skeptical of social media - they provide a platform to express opinions even when the author does not have adequate expertise in the field. This is not to defend all therapists; I concede that there are incompetent ones out there. However, we similarly find incompetent teachers, priests, or writers - and yet I would never presume to write that men should stop educating, encountering God, or reading.
Anyway, thank you for your post and for the clash of ideas.
With most modern therapy you are correct. What if what we really need is to learn to recognize our emotions, process them, and then our thinking brain and our spirit can come up with solutions? When our emotions are disregulated our brain and spirit are unable to work properly so we are a dumber version of ourself. ZConnection.Codes
Excellent points you make in your comment and thank you for sharing them! I agree completely, having a specific reason is key, otherwise it’s just venting for the sake of venting.
Thank you as well for your kind words, I am really grateful for your support 🙏🏼
As someone who studied psychology in college, I can vouch for a lot of what was said here. Therapy for men is pretty much only useful for dealing with serious trauma like coping with the death of a loved one, and it should eventually get to the point where you don’t have to go anymore. A good therapist will have deep insider knowledge of how the mind works and will be able to help you understand the negative thought processes that are preventing you from acting and resolving your mental blockages. Sadly though, yes, these are rare. If a therapist is merely acting as a person to vent to, they are not doing their job properly and could potentially be taking advantage of you to have a stable client base.
I agree completely. I think as with the health system in general, there are very strong financial incentives to keep patients hooked on to drugs, therapy sessions, etc. It takes a very good therapist to ignore that and actually focus on helping their patients, and there aren't many, partly because of the reasons I mentioned in the article
You want to get the best therapy and spiritual program that exists on planet earth, and is available world wide for free to boot?
Go to AA.
No better place to find wise elders and positive social interaction. The only sacrifice you make is to give up booze. You'll soon realize how good of a decision a life of sobriety truly is.
Partly agree with this William. If it's used as a step-up to a booze-free life, where you also can live without the AA after your recovery, then yes.
But if you use AA to 'stay safe' from your sins of alcoholism and can't live without it because there's a potential danger to 'fall back', then no.
Then AA is used as a protection mechanism and you get the same outcome like most therapist have in common: you need me or otherwise your screwed again.
I've listened a podcast with Voddie Bauchman where he's teaching this. He also said that this in itself is a sin. Very interesting viewpoint.
But again, I do agree whit what you're saying if it's done from a Biblical point of view on sin.
100%! I have a friend who's a big advocate for AA and the recovery process and program they offer. Many people don't know that AA has a Catholic background too.
You’re completely right. The progressive nature of so called therapists is no longer optimal for a man. I have had a pretty rough patch over the past months, three failed suicide attempts. I feel as though the disconnect with the world, or just drowning in my own thoughts doesn’t necessarily help, my friend who is a girl tried to talk to me about it. But at the end of the day talking only does so much, there is no practical advice in the sphere of psychiatrists or therapists anymore, it’s more of just talking. Hopefully I find some peace soon
Sorry to hear that brother, will keep you in my prayers. And I hear you, talking doesn't usually fix our problems, changing and taking action usually does. Seek counsel from a trusted priest if you can, I've found with deep-rooted issues it's usually incredibly important to look at the spiritual side of it. Praying for you, stay strong and stay faithful! God is with you
Thank you brother. Likewise, May God bless you.
You need to talk? Talk to a priest! A manly one, faithful to revelation and tradition.
Absolutely. We need more spiritual direction from manly priests.
Can you imagine if every priest had to chat with every male in their congregation on a regular basis? They don't have time for all that. The priest's role is to do priestly things. The priest offers sacrifice and administers the sacraments. Brief spiritual guidance, if necessary. If men need to talk they need to develop male friendships with other laymen, ideally, of similar state in life.
It used to be a bit like that with confession though. Priests built a relationship with the people in their congregation and could offer advice beyond just the immediate contrition. We need more priests though, I agree it wouldn't be sustainable as things are right now.
Absolutely, sure, when you have the priest to lay ratio that the Orthodox churches have or maybe Traditionalist FSSP chapel, but not the typical Catholic parish of 10000 families to 1 priest. And that won't work for women. Women tend to have friends and support systems though, but shouldn't be the priest regularly. That builds potential for temptation.
The very title of the article, which is obviously constructed provocatively (which is a hallmark of your headlines), I suggest we modify to "Don't go to my representation of therapy". I explain the reasons below.
Before we move on to the actual justification, I would like to be informed from what sources you draw your knowledge of therapy, apart from communication with individuals who are clearly not drawing on exact knowledge, but on personal, often truncated and simplex ideas about the field.
As someone who uses terms such as "vicious cycle of anxiety" or "obsessive fixation" - which are technical terms often used in psychology - your descriptions of therapy as "venting about problems for an hour every week", "feel listened to", "share problems and talk about them" and "talking about problems" seem supremely simplistic, superficial and unprofessional. This description suggests that your perception of therapy is influenced by a subjective and twisted bias that seems to have contributed to the formulation of the article. Ironically, such an approach brings you closer to pink-haired Suzy, whose twisted bias also prevents her from doing is job adequately. I agree that we can't accept Suzy's views just because she has a University title or authority. But equally, we shouldn't automatically accept everything you write just based on the quantity of your article production. YOUR representation of therapy will not solve deep-seated, complex problems like the general crisis of meaning we see in men today. However, properly conducted therapy with a qualified professional does address such issues, and often at a very subtle level that those who don't understand therapy may misinterpret as you do.
Don't you think that your article, while highlighting individuals who want to work on themselves, may paradoxically achieve the opposite effect? Have you considered that such content might discourage some people from seeking professional help because it leads them to believe that they should handle all problems on their own and that they don't need help to feel better.
Further, wording like "This is simply my two cents on topic..." evokes in me exactly why I am skeptical of social media - they provide a platform to express opinions even when the author does not have adequate expertise in the field. This is not to defend all therapists; I concede that there are incompetent ones out there. However, we similarly find incompetent teachers, priests, or writers - and yet I would never presume to write that men should stop educating, encountering God, or reading.
Anyway, thank you for your post and for the clash of ideas.
With most modern therapy you are correct. What if what we really need is to learn to recognize our emotions, process them, and then our thinking brain and our spirit can come up with solutions? When our emotions are disregulated our brain and spirit are unable to work properly so we are a dumber version of ourself. ZConnection.Codes
Excellent points you make in your comment and thank you for sharing them! I agree completely, having a specific reason is key, otherwise it’s just venting for the sake of venting.
Thank you as well for your kind words, I am really grateful for your support 🙏🏼